Awakenings

As of this writing, I’m forty-seven years old and have experienced four major sexual awakenings - or turning points, if you will - in my life. The first was the realization that I was gay during adolescence. The second came nearly two and a half decades later, after I got my nipples pierced and I discovered I enjoyed a certain type of sexual discomfort (pain). Not the type of pain some enjoy which leads to tears, but that rather intent feeling of discomfort where it’s verging on being too much. Where you're not sure how much more you can take. Damn, that feeling shoots straight to my cock and makes me very excited AND very hard. The third came when I realized, after an orgy, that my cock was ‘on the smaller side’ and I enjoyed being ‘taunted’ about it (more commonly known as Small Penis Humiliation (SPH)). The last, and most recent realization, has been Tease-n-Denial.

For years I’ve been intrigued (turned on) by chastity - or, more specifically, male chastity devices. There’s something both truly beautiful about them, and also honestly disturbing. Disturbing because, in my opinion, there isn’t anything more emasculating than taking away a male’s ability to achieve an erection. That, in and of itself, is somehow also what makes it completely HOT as hell. The steal cages - particularly the ones with urethral inserts - damn! The thought of a tube ‘impaling' a guy’s dick - my dick - AND not being able to get hard…well, I find the thought quite arousing to say the least. However, ME actually being ‘caged’ is something which holds rather little appeal - at least not long term caging anyway. A few hours, or a day perhaps, would be interesting, but I can’t see enjoying it for any longer a duration.

Tease-n-Denial: the act of teasing someone (me) to the point of orgasm and then denying said orgasm - now that’s a whole different story. That’s something I could (and have) gotten behind with eagerness and enthusiasm! As I type this blog entry, day nine without release - along with major teasing - is coming to a close. NINE days! Not just nine days without sex or release, but nine days of sex everyday - and occasionally multiple times a day - without a single orgasm…not even the smallest of squirts.

Of course, there’s much more to this than simply not having an orgasm. There’s the also the purely physiological aspect of ‘giving over’ control of one’s orgasm to another person. Someone else now decides if/when you’ll be ‘allowed’ to experience the incomparable joy of release. That relinquishment - at least for a sub like me - is a heady experience all on its own.

Hubby and I had sex this afternoon. Toward the end, I lay on my back while he knelt over me - knees on either side of my head. His beautiful dick was fucking my throat, one of his hands was fucking me with a dildo, while the other worried a sore, tender nipple…it was nearly an out of body experience! Sensations shot through me from everywhere when he said, “stroke your little dick.” With the attention my body was already receiving, it took only a few jerks to be ‘at the edge.’ I dislodged his dick long enough to pant, “Can I cum?” He respond breathlessly, “No,” and shoved his dick back in my throat as I reluctantly let loose of my own. After a few more thrusts, he pulled out, let go of the dildo, and jacked-off across my chest while I bathed his balls with my tongue. After I was sure he was finished, I pressed a kiss to his inner thigh and asked - almost begged - “Can I shoot?” My body felt electrified, my dick was stiff and leaky, and I yearned for sweet release. But not just release - I longed for relief as well; I’ve felt like a live wire for days and in that moment I just wanted to feel the unique and overwhelming relaxation only an orgasm offers. As he swung himself off the bed he replied, “No. Not today. Let me get a towel and we’ll get you cleaned up.” I’ve never been as frustrated or as grateful and satisfied in my life. I called out after his retreating back, “Thank you!" 

Peace,

JLT

#PleasureThroughDenial